Hachimitsu no Kuroubaa

Friday, February 09, 2007

it hit mi last night
only when i know i did something wrong
than i fearing the lack of time
left for everything.. everything

suddenly so wanted to be left alone
to retreat back into my cave..

and when i finally did
i wished i neber did..

tried so hard to get to slp
finally did due to exhaustion
but it didnt end
it haunted mi through my dreams

woke up and i teared
til there was no dry spot to
lay on on the pillow :(

it was 5am
slowly i could hear my family
1 by 1 started to awake for work
my dad at 5
my mum at 6
and my bro at 6.30

i was stuck in my room
it was hell..
even wanted to bang my head
to the solid wall so that i
would fall unconsious
without fearing another such dream

during the morning
after hearing the words of pain
i felt so lost
lost for words
words that wont take away wads already done
it was words that cause it in the first place

Gomenasai :(

had yk and derrick over at my place
wanted to do anything
just anything at all
to keep mi away..

but its acting like quicksand
im being pulled in again..

Yotsuba no Clover...

9:48 PM

Yamada's words

I wonder how you're suppose to give up...

Do i just decide to give up and act accordingly?
And move further and further from what my heart really wants?

Then will i forget everything someday?.
Everything, including this pain in my heart?
Everything...

Without a trace...
As if nothing was there to begin with?

Takemoto's words

Hearing that, i realised that i was empty inside.

Up until that point i was blindfolding myself with responsibilities i had to bear.

but now that i was
suddenly free to do whatever i wanted,

I had to face the fact that i couldn't really do anything.

Takemoto's words

The day will surely come when everything ends and turns into a memory.

But...Im sure that I'll reminisce about it again and again.

You were there.
Everyone was there.

The day we searched for that one thing under the blue sky.